Take Up Space
You are not crazy for wanting more for yourself. Sometimes I don’t even want to admit that to myself about myself, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. But, it doesn’t have to be an internal struggle!
First, let’s set a few house rules. We treat everyone with kindness, we listen, we communicate, we share, we ask lots of questions and we are honest. So to list it out:
we treat people with kindness
we listen first
we communicate our feelings
we share (our insights, our things, our feelings…)
we ask lots of questions early + often.
we are honest, authentic
Now that we’ve established our mutual understanding, I want to proceed with a very informal guide on how to take up space and be more intentional with your time and energy in a world that could absolutely not care less.
Please know that anyone in your life who wants you to solely exist as the smaller version of yourself does not want what is best for you.
Holy run on sentence. Moving on, sometimes it is hard to tell what someone else’s intentions are. After all, only we know our own intentions, and sometimes they can be murky, even for ourselves.
The key is to recognize and identify what resonates within you. Let your intuition be your guide. Trust yourself.
The good news is that we get to choose our environment. We have agency, we have a choice in how we live our lives and how we show up for the people that we love and cherish. If a job or situation is not serving you any more, you have the ability to walk away. Don’t forget your own strength.
For example, I have recently had a major shift with my working situation. I was not happy about it at first, but with time and reflection I have come to realize that a change was necessary.
I am so grateful for my time in my last opportunity. I have gotten to collaborate with so many wonderful, creative people and I have learned so much. For the first time (since therapy), change has not stopped me. Change has empowered me to take time for me, and to stop being such a people pleaser all of the time.
Now, I know how to ask myself what I want. Now, I know I am talented. Now, I know that I am a creative force. This is my truest truth.
I will never conform to anyone else’s expectations of me again, because I deserve to see me win. I want what is best for myself and for the people that I interact with. If I can do better, I will do better. It really is that simple. I make mistakes, I own up to it, I learn from it, I ask A LOT of questions. I use my brain, or as Josh would say “I sit down in my thinking chair, and think, think, think! Cause if you use your mind, take one step at a time, you can do anything that you want to do!”. (Yes, Josh from Blue’s Clues & You.)
I am okay with the uncomfy part of change now. I know that we are all works of art, walking throughout life, hoping that someone will see us for the masterpiece that we are.
Judging me at any given moment would not be an indication of who I am as a whole person, but rather only a glimpse into the kaleidoscope of the person that I am. A piece of the whole image. A mere pixel. I know that a masterpiece is made from the sum of it’s parts, it has never just been about painting a pretty picture.
My therapist always reminds me that appearing functional is not a true indicator of actually being functional, but rather what we assume a functional person would do in our shoes.
So, I am choosing me and this is part of how I am doing that. I am showing up for myself and the future bigger, better version of me. I don’t have a strict regiment on how to actually take up space, but I know that it is essential for each of us. That would ultimately stop me from sharing this raw, vulnerable part of my life with you. Arguably, what I want most for people to take away from this rant is that: you are not alone. We are still here. We can still do great things, or we could go back to scrolling aimlessly again, our choice.
